


Telephone Wire

by Ashley_vh



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Communication, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-04 08:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashley_vh/pseuds/Ashley_vh
Summary: Pearl could feel when Blue had seen her and noticed her standing there.  Blue stopped the slight tilt of her head and stared at her.  She smiled and it was like a weight of worry lifted off her chest and she could breathe easily.Blue spoke with the same quiet voice that somehow filled whatever space she was in, her words floated to them over ocean waves and electricity jumping from the ship.  She spoke to Pearl, “is it too late to accept your offer?”-or-Blue Pearl comes to Earth with an important message for the Crystal Gems.  (Set just after they come back from the Zoo)





	1. DOA

**Author's Note:**

> 5/24/17

Pearl felt strange.  Almost like the elation she felt after a winning battle during the war, only more intense. 

Giddiness made her want to dance around the kitchen when the rest of her family sat calmly.  It seemed everyone was together: Garnet and Amethyst were sitting together on the floor playing checkers, Connie and Steven were sitting on the floor by the couch while Connie worked on homework, even Greg was there, sitting on the couch, attempting to offer help on homework.  They all seemed so lethargic.

They had only been back on Earth for a few days, so it seemed wrong to Pearl that Steven looked so morose.  They won.  He saved his father, after all, he should be happier. 

When Steven put his head in his hand and propped his elbow on the table, she had had enough.  So she spoke, “Steven,” he looked up at her without moving his head, “What’s got you so down?”  She stood beside the coffee table with her hands at her sides when he looked back at the table without answering. 

Greg looked at her with a shrug before turning back at the simple geometry Connie was working on. 

She ticked her tongue, “Do you want me to sing for you?” she said excitedly, she did quite like singing, she felt as if she could burst into song any second from her elation anyway.  And he likes her singing.  “Would that make you feel better?”

He jolted upright, “No!” he nearly yelled.  There was almost panic in his voice, or anger.  It startled her into taking a half step backwards.

She blinked at him.  What did she say to make him so upset?  He normally loved her singing—

Before she could say anything, though, the ground under their feet rumbled as a crash sounded through the beach.  Glass plates rattled in the shelves, Connie’s pencils rolled off the table onto the floor, checkers skittered off the board, and the windows rattled. 

Her head whipped around towards the door and there was a moment where they were all still.  Greg spoke, his voice shaken, “What was that?!” 

Steven hopped up from the floor and ran to the window, “Something crashed on the beach!” 

The dread in his voice didn’t really register with her as she summoned her spear and rushed to the door.  Garnet and Amethyst moved with her and jumped down the steps instead of using them as Connie grabbed Rose’s sword and following Steven out the door.

A long ways down the beach, barely in her view, a mound of sand was steaming from something crash landing by the water.

A sinking feeling filled her and her breath froze inside her, it was clearly a ship.  She stared at it as they ran towards it before whoever inside could get out.  This wasn’t supposed to be happening anymore.  They had already fought one war, she wasn’t ready to fight another, they had no army, no general—

The closer they got, the more she could see.  The ship was dark blue, small and gleaming, an escape pod.  The sand around it steamed still, whoever it was inside couldn’t fly it well enough for an easy landing.  It looked like the clear panel in the front that served as the window was down in the sand, the door hadn’t opened yet.

Garnet stopped a few feet away from the ship, her gauntlets ready, and Pearl stopped beside her.  She could hear Amethyst and Steven and Connie skid up beside them.  Steven had the shield on his arm beside her and Connie stood by his side with Rose’s sword at the ready.  Far behind, she heard Greg approach slower.  He still stayed behind, but closer than he would have been before he came back from the Zoo.  

And they waited.

But they didn’t have to wait long.  The door panel of the ship opened slowly, letting a puff of smoke float to the sky.  The landing must have been rougher than she originally thought… and those escape pods aren’t that hard to fly, they’re designed for any gem to use.  Whoever was inside must have had no experience flying _any_ ship whatsoever…

The door was facing away from them, so when the gem inside carefully stepped out onto the sand, it took her a moment to turn and see them.  But Pearl recognized her immediately, without even seeing her face.

Pearl’s spear point lowered a bit as she sucked in a surprised breath for a fraction of a second before she caught herself.  _What is she doing here?  How…_ Steven shifted a bit to look at her, but she didn’t look at him.

Blue Diamond’s Pearl turned to them with her hands folded in front of her, just as they had always been.  Her form was exactly the same as the last time she saw her on Earth, not a single mark on her skin from the wreak, and seeing her brought Pearl back to that day, when Garnet first fused and Blue stood at her Diamond’s feet and watched Pearl leave—

There was a moment when the only movement was the wind gently blowing Blue’s skirt and hair around her.  Pearl stared at Blue with wide eyes as she took a second to take in the wall of gems with weapons pointed at her.  She didn’t seem particularly worried about them, but she’d always been great at concealing what she felt.

Pearl could feel when Blue had seen her and noticed her standing there.  Blue stopped the slight tilt of her head and stared at her.  Blue smiled and it was like a weight of worry lifted off her chest and she could breathe easily. 

Blue spoke with the same quiet voice that somehow filled whatever space she was in, her words floated to them over ocean waves and electricity jumping from the ship.  She spoke to Pearl, “is it too late to accept your offer?”

Pearl could feel the others look at her in confusion, but she didn’t look away from Blue.  The offer.  Mere days before the last time they had ever seen each other, she’d offered her a place in the rebellion by her side, to get her away from the Diamonds.  _That offer_.

She couldn’t stop the squeal of delight that pulled itself from her throat.  The smile on her face was so wide it almost hurt as she dropped her spear in the sand and ran towards Blue.  Tears blurred her vision but she didn’t care as she threw her arms around Blue’s neck with such intensity it would have knocked them both to the sand if Blue hadn’t followed her momentum and stepped back a few steps with her. 

It’d been longer than Pearl could remember that she hugged someone who was her size.  She didn’t feel small like she’d hugged Garnet or Rose, but she didn’t feel like she had to stoop to rest her chin on Blue’s shoulder like with Amethyst or Steven.  The realization struck her.  She missed it more than she thought.

Blue huffed a little laugh against her shoulder and hugged her back.  Her arms were light across her back, and for a moment Pearl worried that she was hugging her friend too hard.  But she couldn’t help it.  It’d been so long.  “It’s never too late!”  Pearl said, her voice loud and happy, and shaking with tears that fell down her cheeks and landed on Blue’s shoulder, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

She whispered against Pearl’s shoulder so the others wouldn’t hear, “I’m sorry it took so long.”  Blue’s voice shook with her own tears, but no one would be able to tell she was crying because her hair had always covered her eyes

“Don’t be!”  Pearl said, lowering her voice a bit to match Blue’s.  She pulled away from the hug but kept hold of her shoulders, like she’d vanish if she let go.  Her breath rushed out of her, “Oh, I was so worried that you hadn’t made it off Earth before…” she couldn’t bring herself to talk about the harsh end of the rebellion, “But then I saw you at The Zoo!”

“I feel the same,” Blue said, even quieter than before, but still smiling.  She held her hands over Pearl’s, “Yellow had mentioned the Peridot on Earth and I hadn’t dared to hope you were still here until you were at the Zoo.”  She laughed a little and brushed away the tears from Pearl’s cheek, “Though I should have supposed that you’d be too stubborn.”

The laugh the bubbled out of her was a surprise to her and she hugged Blue again.  It was such a perfect thing for her to say just then.  So much like what she would have said before the war—“Oh!” she said, pulling away, “You have to meet the others!”

Blue trailed along as Pearl grabbed her hands and pulled her towards her family.  Pearl hadn’t been able to shrink her smile any, but she hadn’t really tried that hard. 

If she thought she was happy this morning, she wondered what this feeling was.

Pearl noticed the hesitation in Blue’s steps, but it was probably only nerves.

Garnet’s smile was wide as the others gathered around her.  Their weapons were gone, except for Rose’s sword, and they looked away from Garnet as they approached. 

Blue stopped just out of arm’s reach of the group.  She didn’t pull her hand away from Pearl’s, but her free hand was curled in front of her gem.  She tilted her head down, looking at Garnet through her hair, “I know you,” she said, “You’re the fusion.”  Her voice was light, but there was a touch of awe in it, barely noticeable to those who didn’t know her.

Garnet nodded, “Been a while.” 

“Her name is Garnet,” Pearl said as Blue pulled her hand away.  She had been planning on saying something else, but her voice failed her as Blue bowed low to Garnet.  Pearl stopped smiling and felt her cheeks burn as blush spread across her face.  It’d been so long since she’d seen a pearl act like… well… like a pearl.  It floored her for a moment.

Garnet’s smile only shrank a little, and she nodded as Blue stood straight again.

Blue clasped her hands in front of her as Pearl shook her head, “ah,” she pointed to Amethyst, “This is Amethyst.”  She waved her hand, not knowing how to react as Blue bowed to her too.  “Steven,” She said, patting him on the head as Blue bowed to him and he waved with the arm that wasn’t rubbing the back of his neck.  He was tense, but she didn’t know why.  “And Connie,” and Pearl was thankful that she was the last one who needed introduction, seeing Blue bow to her family like they were royalty made something dark in her chest twist.  “This,” she said putting her hand on Blue’s shoulder, “Is Blue.”

The introductions only lasted a few seconds, but to Pearl it felt like an eternity.

Blue leaned against Pearl to get her attention, “I recognize Steven.”  His name sounded strange as she said it, like she wasn’t used to saying names like that. 

“You do?” Steven said with a nervous tone.

“Yes,” Blue said, “You weren’t hiding from me very well at the Zoo.  If I were any other gem, I would have told the Diamonds you were escaping.”  She lowered her head, looking at the ground like they would be angry at her for what she was saying.  But she was completely right.  “I would be more careful next time.”

Steven stared at her with a furrowed brow for a moment and said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Blue smiled a little and looked around like she had missed someone.  When she saw no one else, she leaned against Pearl again, “I’m sorry,” she said, “But where is Rose Quartz?”

“Uh,” Pearl said, frowning at the ground, “Well.  She’s gone.”

“Oh…” Blue said, “I didn’t know she was a casualty.”

“No, ah,” Pearl said.  She felt the other’s eyes on them, but she didn’t look at them.  Her throat itched, “It wasn’t the war.”  She swallowed and nodded to Steven, “Steven is her son.”

“Her son?” Blue said, looking from Pearl to Steven and back again, “How?”

Steven spoke before she could, he recited the information like he had it memorized, “Mom gave up her physical form to have me,” he said, and he showed Blue his gem under his shirt, “But I have her gem.”

Blue stared at his gem for a moment, and Pearl watched her jaw clench and fingers tense and twist together, “I see.”  Her voice was too calm, too level.  She was hiding something, Pearl could tell that much, but she didn’t know what.


	2. Secrets?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/1/17

She didn’t pay too much attention to who suggested it, it may have even been her, but the silence after Blue had asked about Rose felt too thick.  It made her long to break it so much she didn’t realize it was already broken. 

But it didn’t matter now.  Now, she had her arm locked around Blue’s and she led her to Beach City, walking by her family’s side with her embarrassment forgotten in the steaming sand with the ship.

When they turned towards the city, Greg met them half way to the docks.  Blue looked at him with a twitch of her lips.  She leaned to Pearl’s ear, “That’s one of the humans, the one that I found,” she whispered as Steven said something to his dad, “He fell trying to hide in the Zoo.” 

Her words, her light tone, took Pearl back to when she was still with Homeworld, when she stood by Blue’s side and she would whisper in her ear to make her smile after long days.  And it worked no different now.  She tried to restrain her giggle behind her hand, but she wasn’t too successful.  “That’s Greg,” she whispered, tightening her hold on Blue’s arm and breathing a sigh of relief when she didn’t try to bow to him.  “He’s Steven’s father.”

Blue tilted her head to the side with a restrained smile.  They stopped in front of Greg and Blue seemed to study him when he looked at her, at where their arms connected. 

He looked a little hesitant, like he was expecting Blue Diamond to appear behind her, but she was probably still on Homeworld, probably hadn’t even noticed yet that her precious pearl ran off—

“I’m Greg,” He said, and there was another silence that grated on Pearl’s skin while he waited for Blue to introduce herself. 

But pearls don’t do that on Homeworld.

“This is Blue,” Pearl said, trying to keep her voice light and keeping her arm tight around Blue’s.

“I, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I don’t know if you remember—“

“Of course I remember,” Blue said.  “It wasn’t that long ago.”

There was another tense silence, Steven shifted his weight from foot to foot, Connie looked at the ground, Amethyst watched them curiously and Garnet had her arms folded as she watched.

Greg still moved awkwardly, but he stayed standing in front of them, “So, uh,” he said, “have you known Pearl long?”

Pearl smiled, human small talk at its finest to break the awful silence, but Blue nodded seriously.

“Yes,” she said, “For as long as she’s existed. I serve Blue Diamond and she ser—”

The smile vanished off Pearl’s face as she realized what Blue was going to say.  She jerked her arm just enough to get Blue’s attention so she would stop.  “Ah,” Pearl said, “ _Served_.”  She looked at Blue, trying to tell her not to say anything else with her eyes, “You don’t serve her anymore.”

Blue stared at her for a short second, and it was like they were back at Homeworld and she was telling Blue not to tell the Diamonds she was meeting that quartz soldier again that night.  “Oh,” she said, “Of course,” she turned back to Greg, “Yes, we were close on Homeworld.”

Pearl smiled again, a little more strained despite her relief as she waited to see if any of them noticed. 

If they did, they didn’t say anything or do more than look at her a bit strangely before Greg said, “So are you staying on Earth?”

Blue’s jaw clenched again, her fingers tightened on Pearl’s arm, “Yes,” she said too lightly, “I’ve left Homeworld permanently.”

Pearl’s smile returned in full force; the giddiness felt overwhelming, hearing her say those words.  She let go of Blue’s arm to clap her hands in front of her with a wide grin.  Pearl had missed her over the thousands of years that separated them, and having her back… She smiled at Blue, and Blue returned the fond smile she seemed to only use with Pearl.

Steven spoke, jumping forward enthusiastically.  His hesitation seemed to be gone now that he’d seen how Pearl acted with Blue, and he seemed happy, “Dad, we’re showing Blue around Beach City!” he said, “Wanna come?”

Greg smiled down at Steven, “I have to get back to the car wash,” he said, “But I can go with you for a few minutes.”

Steven beamed and he and Connie led the way onto the docks.  Garnet, Amethyst, and Greg followed them closely, and Pearl expected Blue to be at her side when she trailed after her family.  But when she looked over to say something about how happy she was that Blue had finally left the Diamonds, Blue wasn’t there.

Panic overtook her and she sucked in a breath.  For a long second, she thought she imagined the whole thing, that she missed her so much she dreamed the whole day and she’ll wake up from a surprise nap any second and see none of it was real—

She jolted, looking back to see Blue trailing behind her with her hands folded in front of her gem.  Relief flooded through her just as Holly Blue Agate’s words floated from the back of her mind, a dark, twisted voice that made a bitter taste rise in her throat.  _Does your pearl always walk next to you_?

Pearl blinked at Blue who was looking at her with a confused twist of her mouth.  She wasn’t on Homeworld anymore, Blue didn’t belong to Pearl, the thought of her trailing behind her like a servant—Pearl tried to smile as she stepped beside Blue, wrapping their arms back together and walking by her side as she followed her family, trying to ignore the sharp twist of something gnawing at her.

Blue slightly moved her head to the side as they walked, looking at the wall of stores that lined the docks, “Are those their new dwellings?”  She asked, looking at the Big Donut in the distance, “They’re… colorful.”

Steven, a bit in front of them, turned back, “No, it’s a business,” he said, “That’s the Big Donut.  It’s where we get food.” 

Pearl could barely see it under her hair, but dark blue dusted Blue’s cheeks.  It didn’t seem that she expected him to hear her, she was speaking softly.  “Oh,” Blue said quietly.  Steven either didn’t notice or didn’t comment on her embarrassment, he simply walked with his dad towards the car wash.

When he stopped glancing at them over his shoulder, Blue seemed to relax a little.  Her hand was light on Pearl’s arm, and the blush was gone.  For a moment, they walked in silence while her family chatted around them. 

There was so much that Pearl wanted to ask.  After so long since they’d seen each other, it felt like there was so much to catch up on.  But then again, she remembered her own time as a servant.  There wasn’t much that actually was exciting.  The occasional trial, the occasional wondered-upon fight, the occasional spectacle.  Gossip so rarely reached them.  It was terribly boring when it wasn’t terrible.  But still, the questions swirled so fast it was more like a general emotion: wanting to know. 

Blue tensed her fingers on Pearl’s arm again, she carefully pointed to the road far away from the dock with the barest movement of her hand; they could just see cars in the distance.  “What are those?” she whispered, impossibly quiet so only Pearl would hear, looking towards the cars.

“A human invention,” she said, “It’s a car.  Humans invented them to travel long distances quickly.”

Blue watched them drive as they walked to the car wash, “How far could they possibly go?  They don’t look very fast.”

“They’re not.” Pearl said, “They’re very slow.  But considering humans have barely gone farther than their moon, it’s incredible.”

“Hm,” Blue listened to her over the light taps of their footsteps along the sidewalk.  She surreptitiously looked around them with little twitches of her head that wouldn’t be noticed, like looking at how the Earth around them had changed would get her punished. 

Pearl wanted to tell her it was okay to look.  That she didn’t have to keep her head bowed like that, she didn’t need to whisper her questions in Pearl’s ear like they’re a secret, she didn’t need to act like that anymore.  It made Pearl bitter and uncomfortable and—

“What are those humans holding?”  Blue asked, indicating a group of teenagers laughing around one of their cell phones.

She did quite like Blue asking her questions, though, it made her feel important.  “The humans have their own kind of communicator,” she said quietly, matching Blue’s tone, “They call it a cell phone.  Steven has one.”

Blue looked at her, “Does it work on other planets?” 

“No,” Pearl said.  Before she could explain further though, she was interrupted.

“Universe!” a loud voice bellowed through the docks, “There you are!”

Blue looked past the mayor as he ran towards them from the car wash.  “Is that,” Blue seemed confused as she looked at the van parked in the parking lot, “Does that car have his face on it?”

“Yes,” Pearl said with an ugly snort, “It also talks.”

Blue huffed her usual laugh, “Why?”

“I’m not sure,” she said, “I’ve assumed it was some sort of status symbol.”

“Status?  Humans have hierarchy?” she looked Dewey up and down, studying his small, unimpressive stature.  “Where does that fit?  It doesn’t look very commanding.”

Pearl laughed, “He’s not, but he’s the mayor.  Humans nowadays elect their commanders based on personality and policy choice,” she lectured, “Not battle or size.”

Blue stared at Dewey and his van again as he and Greg waved to them and walked away, “Humans are such strange creatures.”

Pearl giggled again, because she was completely right.  Blue was smiling too, like they used to when they were alone on Homeworld. 

But, just like when they were alone on Homeworld, as soon as someone’s footsteps got too close, her face was a neutral mask again.  Pearl had once done that too.

Pearl looked up just as her family ran back to where she and Blue had lagged behind talking.  “Blue!” Steven said excitedly, “Do you want to go to Funland?”

Blue stared at him for a half second before looking at Pearl.  “Funland?” She whispered.

Steven had stars in his eyes as he said, “It’s a super fun place!  There’s games, and rides, and I like it…”  He trailed off when Blue said nothing and her expression didn’t change.

There was that silence again.  The horrible one that made Pearl tense.  He’s waiting for her answer, of course he is, he expects her to state her opinions outright, that’s all he’s ever known a pearl to do.  But Blue wouldn’t do that after such little time on Earth.  Pearl took _ages_ of Rose telling her over and over and over and over that she was safe enough and her thoughts mattered enough to actually say what she thought outside of secret meetings with a single trusted friend—

“Funland,” Garnet said, putting her hand on Steven’s head and interrupting her thoughts, “Sounds great.”  She looked at Pearl with a small smile, like she was the one who needed reassurance instead of Blue, “Lead the way.”

And he did.  He took slower steps this time, not letting them fall too far behind. 

Pearl felt strange, a gnawing sort of dread filling her.  It did take her a long time of Rose’s persistent reassurance that she wasn’t broken to speak like she does now.  To not try so hard to keep her voice quiet, to not say what she could, to not get too excited, to not laugh. 

But Rose wasn’t there.

Blue was just her friend, there’s no way she could do for Blue what Rose had done for her—

Blue’s fingers tightened on her arm again, pulling her out of her thoughts.  Pearl looked at her, blinking away the thoughts as Blue pointedly looked around her to where Steven was standing, looking up at Pearl with confusion from her side.  He’d asked her something and she hadn’t heard him.  Garnet and Amethyst were looking at her with concern and confusion too, but she didn’t meet their eyes. 

“Sorry,” Blue said for her, “We get so distracted.”  There was something like a reprimand in her voice, but it was too light for anyone but Pearl to notice, and she blushed.  She was talking about pearls in general, of course.  It was the kind of thing she’d say to their diamonds when her mind wandered on Homeworld, trying to spare her the punishment—

“Um,” Steven said, unsettled by her words, “that’s… Okay?”  He recovered quickly though, and with a smile, he said, “I said ‘Blue said that you knew each other for forever?’”

Pearl smiled down at him as they walked towards Funland, “Yes,” she said, “For as long as I can remember.”

Steven’s tone turned teasing, “I thought you said you didn’t know any other pearls.”

He was joking with her, she knew that, but that didn’t stop her face from burning blue, “I didn’t say that—”

But Blue spoke as she did, “When did she say that?” 

Pearl looked at her with surprise.  Maybe she was better off than Pearl thought—

“Well,” Steven said, “When Peridot called the diamonds!  Pearl said that—“

“That not all pearls know each other,” Pearl said lightly, mimicking Blue’s calm tone, “Not that I didn’t ever know any.”

Steven looked like he was going to joke it away, and Pearl was grateful for that, but Blue spoke with a surprising intensity, almost hostility, “And _why_ would she say anything more?  I wasn’t involved.”  Blue snapped, “We can’t give too much away to _others_.  It’s dangerous.” 

“No!”  Pearl looked at her friend with wide eyes and her face burned impossibly more, Blue looked at her with tension around her lips, “No, it’s not like that here.”  She glanced down at Steven who was looking at her strangely.  Not quite hurt, but he wasn’t joking anymore.  “It’s not like that.”  She told him, not even realizing that she stopped walking and she clutched at Blue’s arm like a life line.  “I didn’t intentionally keep Blue secret, I just…”

Just… What?  She had no answer.  It’s not that she had had no opportunity to tell him.  She had every opportunity, she just… didn’t.  Said Homeworld instead of her Diamond, didn’t tell him her past at all until Peridot did—

“It’s no big deal,” Steven said, “It’s okay.” And he shrugged away the tension in the air.  His tone was happy again, and he grabbed Pearl’s hand to pull her and Blue towards Funland. 

Blue was looking at her strangely, like she was equal parts proud of her discretion and curious about her embarrassment.  The look didn’t make her feel any better.  Steven had said it was okay, but was it?  She really hadn’t kept Blue secret, kept him from knowing anything at all about Pearl’s past, on purpose… Had she? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter, comment if you did. I hope to have chapter 3 finished soon <3


	3. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/11/17

After a while of wandering around Funland, Steven, either purposely or accidentally, forgot the tension and pulled Pearl and Blue around the various attractions.  It made her relax, because Steven was behaving as he always does.  But Blue watched the sun go from high overhead to quickly sinking with a barely-there tension that only grew as time went on. 

In an hour or two, the sun would set on her first day as a free pearl.

The thought excited Pearl, but it didn’t seem to effect Blue the same way. 

As the day went on, she kept herself close to Pearl’s side as humans screamed in excitement all around them.  Once, long ago, it had reminded Pearl of the battlefield, but now it just made her smile.

But then, Blue tugged on her arm, pulling her close to whisper in her ear, “I know Steven is having fun, but… I don’t like it here.”

Pearl nodded at her; she must have been thinking that over and over in her mind until she formulated the statement perfectly.  It’s what Pearl used to do with Rose.  She tapped Steven on the shoulder to get his attention away from the game he was playing.  “Are you hungry?” She asked, “Maybe we should go…”

He looked at her for a second before glancing at Blue.  Steven seemed to see right through her excuse, he was too smart for it, but he nodded with a smile anyway.  There was no trace of disappointment in him, so Blue relaxed her grip on Pearl’s arm in relief.  She hadn’t wanted to make Steven upset by wanting to leave.

Steven and Connie decided to go to the Big Donut (“It’s the best food in all of Beach City, Blue!” Steven had said, Pearl didn’t get the appeal, but Steven liked it well enough).  While he and Connie ran inside, the gems wandered onto the beach, sitting in the sand near the temple. 

For the first time that day, Pearl let go of Blue and sat by her side without touching her.  She had her hands clasped in front of her shins and her knees in front of her.  Garnet and Amethyst sat beside her, relaxing in the sunshine.  Blue sat in the sand, her feet under her with her ankles together and her hands folded on her legs, her posture perfect as she took up as little room as possible. 

It would take a moment or two before Steven and Connie would join them, and Amethyst took the opportunity to speak: “So you,” Amethyst started, hesitating for a moment to figure out how to phrase her question, “you used to serve Blue Diamond?” She seemed excited to ask about Blue.  Her time with the other Amethysts at the Zoo hadn’t really given her much information about Homeworld gems, but the taste of what she’d seen made her want to know more.

Blue nodded, “Yes.”

When Blue didn’t elaborate, Amethyst propped her elbows up on Garnet’s leg to better look at her with starry eyes, “What was it like?”

Blue barely smiled at her, almost bittersweet, “Uneventful,” she said, “Usually.”  There was something dark in her voice, an echo of her earlier hostility.

“What happened before you left?” Amethyst asked, propping her chin on her hand.

Pearl was curious too, though it wasn’t the way she would have asked it.  But the small smile vanished off Blue’s face, and she was glad she didn’t ask.

Blue opened her mouth to speak, but her teeth were clenched so hard her breath hissed a little through them.  She pursed her lips and looked down at the sand between her and Pearl.  When she finally spoke, her teeth were still clenched, “A trial.”  Her voice was clipped short and it was clear she’d rather be back at Funland instead of answering these questions. 

Pearl almost winced, she remembered trials.  They always ended with a gem shattered on the floor.

“Yours?!” Amethyst asked excitedly, and Pearl would have smiled at the question, imagining it the way Amethyst was: Blue being convicted before making a daring escape chased by a fleet of soldiers.  But that’s not how it would have happened.  Because of course it wasn’t Blue’s trial, the diamonds wouldn’t try a pearl of a crime. 

“No,” she said.  It almost looked like her chin wobbled, and Pearl was glad she wasn’t the one who asked the question. “A quartz. Not mine.”  She bowed her head and whispered, “Not mine.”

Before Pearl could ask her, or even decide if she should ask her, Steven and Connie appeared by Blue’s side, skidding in the sand beside her with their bag of donuts as if they’d known Blue for years instead of hours.

Blue flinched away from them, barely shifting so her hip bumped against Pearl’s and stayed there, seeming to be comforted by the touch. 

Steven fished around in the bag for a moment before pulling a donut covered in blue sprinkles and held it out to Blue, “Do you want one?”

She looked at it for a moment before turning and glancing at Pearl, “what is it?”

“Human food,” Pearl said.

“It’s great!”  Steven said, smiling widely, “And I figure you may want to try it, since you’re gonna be here forever.” 

Blue looked from him to the donut and back again without saying anything.  She didn’t want it, not that Pearl could blame her, but she couldn’t say it.  Neither could Pearl when she was new to the planet.  Silence was the only way a pearl could say no—

“You don’t have to,” Connie said.  “Pearl doesn’t eat either.”

At Connie’s words, Blue turned back to her.  Pearl smiled and said, “it’s not pleasant.”

“Well _I_ like it,” Amethyst said, all but jumping on Pearl’s legs to pluck the donut out of Steven’s hand.  The sudden closeness made Blue flinch again, leaning closer still to Pearl as Amethyst returned to Garnet’s side, throwing the entire donut into her mouth.

“Hey!” Steven said, “That was Blue’s!”

Blue was blushing again as she said, “It’s alright,” she raised her folded hands in front of her.  It was the only way she showed any of the tension she must be feeling, and Pearl was probably the only one to notice it.

Pearl unclasped her hands from around her legs to wrap one arm around Blue in a half hug.  She was already pressed up against her side, so it wasn’t hard.  Blue’s shoulder was tense under her hand, but after a moment of Steven and Connie eating donuts without trying to interact with her, Blue released the breath she’d been holding and relaxed, her hands falling back onto her lap.

The sun was quickly sinking, casting brilliant splashes of color across the sky.  Pinks, blues, golds and oranges all together.  The sun cast golden light across all of them, making warm tones rise in Blue’s usually cool skin.  For a few moments, Blue didn’t look at the sky, she looked at her hands, the way the light turned them warm blue like a few feet of ocean water in summertime.

She loved watching the sun sinking into the ocean.  Pearl had been on Earth for thousands of years, had seen hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of nights here, but no two sunsets were ever the same.  Stray bits of color slowly appeared from the vivid afternoon sky above the waves differently each time the blue sky slowly darkened.  It seemed as the Earth aged the sunsets only got more bright, more vividly colored, more beautiful. 

Every sunset made her understand the phrase _take your breath away_.

Blue sniffed, barely audible over the ocean waves; when she unclasped her hands, raising them to her face, she pushed the hair out of her eyes.  She watched the colors take over the sky, and her dark eyes filling with tears. 

Pearl stared at her as she reclasped her hands in front of her mouth.  She had only seen her eyes once before, the first day their diamonds went to Earth, the first sunset either of them had ever seen.  Her eyes were the same dark, swirling blue of deep water or stormy skies, and they shimmered like the water the sun was sinking into.

Blue’s chin wobbled as tears fell down her cheeks, just as it had before.  She sniffed again and covered her mouth with one hand, curling her other hand into a fist in front of her gem.  Pearl barely noticed the tears on her own cheeks as she gently took Blue’s hand, holding it as the fist uncurled.  Blue huffed a shuddering breath, dropping her hand away from her mouth to the sand beside her and twisting her and Pearl’s fingers together. 

Steven was watching them, the empty donut bag between him and Connie.  He didn’t say anything as tears kept trailing down Blue’s cheeks.  Instead, he simply placed his hand over hers.

Her fingers tensed, and she looked at Steven.  Pearl couldn’t see her face, but Steven was smiling up at her and Blue stared at him before simply turned back to the sunset, resting her head on Pearls shoulder.  Blue’s tears fell onto her arm, but Pearl didn’t care.

None of them moved, none of them spoke.  They didn’t want to break the peace in the air.  She felt calm, happy and content with her family.  Something about that moment, to Pearl, felt like a delicate glass sculpture in her hands.  One wrong move, one strong breath could shatter it.

But on Earth, these moments never last forever.

She heard the quiet steps behind them as the Lion padded towards Steven.  Blue lifted her head to watch the pink lion sniff around Steven, finally settling on the empty donut bag.  Too quickly for Steven to grab the empty bag, Lion grabbed it in his mouth and jumped over them, running off down the beach.

“Lion, no!”  Steven said, jumping up to chase him, “bring that back, we can’t litter!”

Just like that, the calm was broken with a lighthearted moment.  Connie laughed, and Amethyst jumped up too, “It’s a big cat, Steven,” Amethyst said as she ran after both of them, “it’s okay, he needs litter!”

Pearl smiled, her tears long since dried, and watched them run along the water.  Blue raised her head and watched them too with a confused small smile.

“Connie,” Garnet said, standing and dusting the sand off her gems, “We should go with them.”

Without question, Connie stood and followed Garnet at a steady walking pace, leaving her and Blue alone for the first time that day.

For a few long moments, they watched the last remnant of that pale blue fade from the sky into the dark, starry night sky and the voices of her family faded into the distance.  Blue tensed her fingers in Pearl’s.  She took a steady breath, using her free hand to adjust her hair back in front of her eyes and wipe away her tears.  “I’m sorry I caused trouble earlier,” she said. 

Pearl ignored her own bitter unhappiness as Blue hid her eyes again, but she didn’t say anything about it.  Instead, she said, “You didn’t.”  She wasn’t embarrassed about the conversation anymore, but there was still that gnawing feeling of worry around her.

Blue only looked at her with the usual neutral slant of her mouth as she saw right through her.  Pearl may as well have told her that there was nothing between her and that quartz soldier, like she tried once, for all the good it did.

“Okay,” Pearl said, sighing, “But it wasn’t your fault.”  And it wasn’t.  Blue had nothing to do with why she hadn’t told them about her past.

Blue nodded, looking over their head at the stars above them. 

They were too close to the city for a nice view of the stars.  Maybe tomorrow night Pearl could take Blue to the barn, watch the stars twinkle as they hid in rows of corn like they had done before—

“They don’t know who you are.”  Blue didn’t ask her.  There was no question there.  She was just stating it as fact.  Not good, not bad, just fact.

Pearl sighed and looked out over the glittering water.  “ _Was_ ,” she said, “They don’t know who I _was_.”

Blue looked at the water too, “That’s why you’re just ‘Pearl’,” she said, “now.”

“Yes.”  Pearl tensed her fingers, not hard enough to hurt Blue, but tight, “Do you want to be Blue forever?”  she smiled, like it was a joke, but there wasn’t quite enough of a joke there.

“I suspect it won’t matter.”  Blue said flippantly, without thinking.  Just as they used to do when they joke with each other.

Pearl blinked, the smile slipping off her face, “Why do you say that?”

“Guys!”  Steven called from the porch.  Pearl hadn’t noticed him get there.  “Do you want to come inside?!”

Blue looked up at him, turning away from her and making it harder to notice the blush on her cheeks.  She pulled her hand out of Pearl’s grip, and she fought the urge to hold on tighter.  Blue stood, turning to offer her hand to Pearl, to help her stand.

After a split second of hesitation, Pearl took Blue’s hand. 

The sand stuck on Blue’s skin grated against Pearl’s fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, this is coming out a bit later than I expected because I started my new job on Monday and an 8-5 really takes it out of a writer lol. I'm hoping the next chapter will be done soon, cause things will start kicking off soon ;)
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter, let me know what you think so far.


	4. The Cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/30/17

When Pearl and Blue walked up the wooden steps towards the house together, she could hear voices inside.  She had wanted to ask Blue what she meant when they sat in the sand, why her name wouldn’t matter, but Blue wouldn’t meet her gaze.  Blue hadn’t looked at her since she said it.

Pearl let it go.  There would be time to ask later, after all.

Blue side-stepped Pearl, pulling open the screen door and moving to the side for her.  After a second of hesitation, Pearl grit her teeth and walked through the door, trying to ignore the growing bitter taste in her mouth.  Blue was treating her like Pearl was somehow better than her.

She’d have to talk to her about that too… But not now.

Now, she walked into the house with Blue following her closely.  Garnet sat cross legged on the floor beside the cold fireplace that hadn’t been used since it got warmer, and Amethyst sprawled out across the floor by the couch.  Connie was pulling cups out of the cupboard as the teapot sat on the stovetop, while Steven piled blankets on the couch—Connie must have asked her mother to stay the night here—and they were chatting loudly enough to hear each other across the house.

Normally, Steven would be watching TV or making a snack before he got ready to sleep for the night, but Pearl supposed it wasn’t that bad that he didn’t look very tired, considering the circumstances.

Pearl felt a light tap on her shoulder that stopped her from moving towards the kitchen.  Blue whispered in her ear, “Your bases are made of wood now?”  She asked, looking at the house around them.

She smiled, “No,” Pearl said, “This is a house.  Since Steven is half human, he needs a house.”  She pointed to the doorway behind the warp pad, “That’s where our rooms are.”

“Half-human,” Blue muttered with an awed tone, mostly to herself as she looked around her before she leaned a little to look past Pearl to the doorway with the gems at each point of the star, “You have a room of your own?”  She asked it with the same awed tone, it almost sounded like she didn’t believe Pearl.  Maybe she didn’t. 

Pearls don’t get their own spaces on Homeworld.

Pearl nodded, but she couldn’t say more before Amethyst called out to her, “Yo, Pearl!”  Both she and Blue looked over as Amethyst waved them over.  Pearl took Blue’s hand and led her to them.  “We were talking about the ship.”

“Oh!” she said, sitting down by Garnet on the floor, leaving room for Blue between them, and leaned on one arm with her legs curled beside her.  Blue sat close beside her with her hands folded on her knees.  She perched so her knees were nearly touching Pearl’s fingertips.  “I didn’t even think about the ship.”

“We can deal with it tomorrow,” Garnet said simply, “take it to the Barn.”

Pearl smiled and glanced at Blue, it would be perfect.  As Blue turned her head to look around the house, stopping to admire the painting of Rose hung on the wall, Pearl pictured the next day.

She could show Blue the little farm Lapis and Peridot had made, they could watch the sunset there and Pearl could explain she didn’t need to serve anyone here, because here all of them are free—

Connie sat beside Pearl and Steven stood beside her, each holding steaming mugs with tea bags floating in them.  Before Steven sat, though, he looked at Blue, “Did you want tea, Blue?”

Blue looked away from the painting of Rose with tension in her shoulders.  “What is tea?” she asked, glancing at him and Pearl, “more food?”

“Kinda,” Steven said, taking a few steps towards her holding the mug out, but keeping his distance.  He must have noticed how skittish she was, “it’s a drink.”

Blue leaned forward, smelling the strong earthy steam from the water.  She wrinkled her nose and sat up straight again, delicately twisting her fingers together on her lap in silence.

“So that’s a no then?”  He said it like a joke, and when Blue didn’t respond, he glanced at Pearl.

Pearl just shook her head, and Steven’s shoulders slumped just a little as he sat down beside Connie and Amethyst and pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.  “Do you want to play cards, Blue?” he asked, still hopeful, “It’s a human game.”

She had been glancing over her shoulder at the painting again while Pearl wasn’t looking, but she quickly turned when he said her name.  After glancing at Pearl again, she simply nodded and Steven beamed at her like she’d made fantastic progress by agreeing to something.  And Pearl supposed she did.

Steven quickly dealt them all cards, explaining the rules as Pearl scooted closer to Blue.  For a few moments after that, the only words were asking each other if they had any specific cards to make their pairs.

No one had even gotten a complete set of four before Steven cleared his throat and spoke up, “So Blue,” he asked, handing Amethyst two threes that she’d asked for, “do you want to tell us about yourself?”

Blue tilted her head to the side, carefully holding her five cards to her chest like a shield.  After a few long seconds, “I’m a pearl?”  She said simply, not understanding his question.

“No, like,” he said, “tell us about _you_.”   He blushed just a little and his eyes widened as he seemed to catch himself, as if he said something he shouldn’t have, “If you want to.”

Blue stared at him for a moment before glancing back at Pearl, asking what she should say without words as if words would give them away.  As if they were still with the diamonds.

“Like, where did you come from?”  Amethyst said, “What’s your story?”  Garnet quietly held her hand out to Amethyst as she spoke, “Fours.”  She groaned and handed three cards to Garnet.

“Oh,” Blue said, “I understand.  I come from Homeworld, I belong to Blue Diamond.”  She looked over at Pearl, the only one she seemed at ease asking for cards, and whispered, “Do you have a number five?”

Pearl shook her head and Blue leaned to the pile of cards, drawing one as Pearl reminded her, “ _Used_ to belong to Blue Diamond.”  She couldn’t keep the pride out of her voice as she said it, and she didn’t really want to.

Blue smiled at her in that fond way of hers, but Pearl tried not to notice that tension around her mouth, “I _used_ to belong to Blue Diamond.”

Steven was staring at Blue with starry eyes as Pearl asked for eights from Amethyst.  But that seemed to be all Blue was planning to say until she noticed his look.  Blue glanced at Pearl, asking why he was looking at her like that. 

Pearl blinked at her, briefly surprised that she so easily remembered the way they communicated before she left.  She leaned closer to Blue, whispering, “He wants you to continue.”  _Though,_ she thought, _it’s not that surprising.  It took so long for her to leave Homeworld, she got to know Blue better than she knew herself at the time._

“Oh,” Blue’s mouth opened with the realization, “of course, I’m sorry.”  She held her cards to her chest again and asked her, “What should I say?”

Blue had asked Pearl, but Connie spoke, “Have you been on Earth before?”  She seemed even more excited than Steven to learn the answer. 

“Yes, I’ve been here before.”  Blue said.  She hesitated, realizing she should continue speaking, “D-during the gem war,” she said, the words were tilted, like she was forcing them out, “I was a spy for the Crystal Gems.  I supplied them with information about the movements and plans of the Diamonds after Pearl left—” She cut herself off, “Homeworld.” 

There was another long silence in the room, making Pearl tense.  Blue must not have been used to speaking so much, must be worried they’d arbitrarily decide that she’d spoken too much and—

Garnet put a hand on Blue’s shoulder, setting her cards on the floor.  She could have said that it was ok to continue, that they’d not punish her for it, but Pearl was glad she didn’t.  Garnet smiled.

“What did you mean,” Connie said, “When you asked Pearl about the offer?”

Blue seemed comforted by Garnet’s touch, she’d always quite liked spending time with Garnet when she’d been passing information, so she sat her cards on the floor too.  She’d set them face up, but it seemed they were done with the game anyway.  “When the diamonds were speaking about the first weapon, we knew it would mean the end of the war, one way or the other.”  

Pearl frowned at the floor as Blue’s fingers tensed. 

“I told Pearl and she offered me a place by her side in the rebellion.”  Blue said, her voice flat and emotionless, “I said no and returned to Homeworld with Blue Diamond.”

Pearl and Garnet knew it already.  Pearl was there and Garnet comforted her after the conversation.  She didn’t look up to see the others’ reactions though, instead, Pearl studied the tenseness in her fingers that nearly bent the cards in her hands.  She took a steadying breath as she looked back up at her family, confusion and shock etched on their faces.

Connie shook her head with her mouth hanging open.  The others looked just as curious as her, but Connie was the first to ask, “Why?” She plucked her mug of tea off the ground, “Why did you say no?”

Blue looked at Pearl, frowning slightly.  Pearl didn’t particularly want to hear the answer again, she doubted it would make more sense the second time, but she nodded.  Blue sighed and bowed her head, “I’m not like Pearl,” she said matter-of-factly, “I was too afraid to leave.”  It was the same answer she told Pearl before.

There was a half beat of silence before Connie raised her cup and drank, maybe as an excuse not to say anything, not to look at anyone.  Garnet kept her hand on Blue’s shoulder, but said nothing as Amethyst scratched the back of her neck in the awkward silence.

Steven was looking between Pearl and Blue, and he leaned forward, “But,” he said, trying to formulate his thoughts, “Homeworld is—the diamonds are…” lines appeared between his eyebrows as he frowned at the ground.  He looked up at Blue with intensity that made her lean away a fraction, “I don’t understand.”

Blue looked at him, “I’m not like Pearl,” she repeated simply, like it would make him understand her more.

Steven looked at Pearl for an explanation, but Pearl looked away without speaking the words.

“I,” Blue said, her voice tense, “I had a place.”  Steven looked back at her but didn’t seem to understand.  Surely, he must be thinking, surely Earth would have a place for her, by Pearl’s side would be a place for her—“Rose hadn’t understood it either.”

“Rose understood it better than I did.”  Pearl snapped.  She blushed lightly, she hadn’t meant to say that.  Not with that bitter tone in her voice.  But it was true.  She hadn’t understood it.  _Had she?_

The choice was what was supposed to matter, giving her another option was the whole point of the war.  That’s what Rose had said to her.  But having her oldest friend chose to stay didn’t make it feel like the war really mattered at all.

“It was very brave to leave them,” Garnet said with her hand still firm on Blue’s shoulder, pulling Pearl out of her thoughts, “No matter when you left.” 

Blue smiled, a dark blue blush spreading across her cheeks as Pearl gently nudged Blue’s knee with her hand.

The distant ocean waves were the only sound, but luckily, before it became that terrible silence again, Connie drank the last bits of her tea and stood.  They all looked at her as she broke the stillness. 

“I just need more tea,” she said, a little surprised by the attention.

She turned towards the kitchen, but she didn’t make it far before Blue was on her feet beside Connie.  She plucked the mug out of her hands easily while Connie flinched at her sudden closeness.  Blue didn’t seem to notice though as she moved towards the kitchen with long, graceful strides. 

Connie started to follow her, “I can get it,” she said, unsure of herself as Blue simply shook her head and poured the steaming water into the cup.  “Um,” she said, awkwardly sitting on the floor again, “thank you.”  

Blue must have watched Connie make tea on their way into the house, because her hands were sure as she dipped the tea bag into the water.  Pearl frowned at the movements before turning away, back to the face-down messy pile of cards in front of her.  Idly, without thinking, Pearl scooped up the cards and straightened the pile face-down on the floor.

“Pearl?”  Steven said, making her look up from the cards in her hand.  “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” she said automatically.  They were all looking at her.  “Why?”

Steven looked at her with concern in his eyes, “You looked upset.”

Pearl huffed a little humorless laugh and said, “I’m not upset.”  It sounded like a lie even to herself.  “It’s just…” she trailed off, trying to think of what she should say.

Barely audible footsteps tapped into the living room from the kitchen.  Blue took her seat beside Pearl and handed her the mug, interrupting her thoughts as she frowned in confusion at Connie’s mug in her hands.

“Just?” Amethyst prompted, leaning towards her.

“Uh,” Pearl said, glancing at Blue as she carefully spun one of her face-up cards on the floor with a thin finger pressed against the small red diamond in the corner.  “Just, it’s been a while.”  She said it as an afterthought, distracted as she moved the cup towards Connie without looking away from the spinning card.  “it’s a bit strange.”

Connie reached forward, but as Pearl turned the mug so the cooler handle was out for the human, the ceramic shifted in her hand.  Some small thing scratched against her palm.

She froze before quickly grabbing the cup with her other hand as if she were dropping it.  Her movements were automatic and reflexive as she grabbed the slip of paper that was folded against the mug and curled it in her fingers as smoothly as if she’d made the move thousands of times.  Perhaps she had.

Pearl sat the mug on the floor and ignored the confused look from Connie.  She stopped herself with her hand nearly to her gem. 

Before, she’d have hidden the note away before anyone would notice it, take it, or read it.  But she stopped herself.  “Oh,” she said, lowering her hand, “no.”  She glanced at the tip of the paper scrap peeking out of her fingers, and then to Blue who still sat carefully perched on her knees, spinning the cards and glancing at the painting of Rose on the wall.

Blue looked away from the painting, watching her hands with a more calculated blankness on her face as she spread her cards out, edge to edge on the floor.

Pearl unfolded the note in her hands, “We don’t have to do this anymore,” she said.  “We can say anything here,” there were bits of Connie’s math problems along the top from where Blue had ripped the scrap away.  “This isn’t Homeworld.” 

The others were looking at the pair with confusion.  Pearl had never mentioned the way they used to pass messages to each other and other gems before they left their diamonds’ side, not even to Garnet.

“These are my friends,” she said, “My family.”  Her old language, though quickly scrawled in the blue pen that had been sitting on the counter, was easy to read in a neat, delicate handwriting that Pearl knew well.  As she read she continued, “I trust everyo—”

She froze. 

The words died in her throat. 

Blue stopped arranging her cards and looked at her.  She knew the moment Pearl read her message. 

But surely she read it wrong.  She smoothed out the paper between her trembling hands, her fingers so tense on the message the edges crimped in her grip.

“Pearl?”  Steven said after her words cut off.

Surely she’d made a mistake.  It’d been so long since she read her language, Pearl must have read it wrong. 

“What is it?”  Steven’s voice sounded quiet, as if she heard him from a distance.  It was almost impossible to understand the words over the sound of her own ragged breath.

She read the note again.  And again.  The seven words were the same as the first time. 

The pressure in the air was suffocating.  _Was this what drowning was like?_  She was hyperaware of the stillness that was broken as Garnet shifted, her large form scratching against the wood floor.  She didn’t need to see her to know the carefree posture was gone. 

Garnet sat up straight, “Pearl.”  She said, cutting through the pressure around her and letting Pearl breathe again.  Her voice was concerned, but calm.

She tried to speak, but her only sound choked in her throat.  She took a shuddering breath, her voice shook, “No.”  She looked at Blue.

Blue sat still, watching her.

“ _No_.” Pearl repeated firmly.  The paper still shook in her hands.  “N-no, this can’t.  It’s not—”  She shook her head, tracing the sharp letters scratched into the paper. 

“ _Pearl_ ,” Steven said.  She finally looked at him and he leaned away from whatever expression was on her face.  She briefly, distantly, hoped that the cold terror in her form hadn’t shown on her face and scared him.  “What’s wrong?”  Steven asked, his voice small.

She watched him for a moment, his eyes were wide and concern and worry etched on his face.  Pearl clenched her teeth and looked at the note in her hands again.  She took a slow breath and swallowed down her panic.  Her voice was steady as she looked at Blue, “Are you _sure_?”

The stillness of the room settled over them like a heavy blanket, and for a moment Pearl could imagine it was just the two of them again, stealing moments to talk about the growing rebellion, the traitors to their diamonds, about Pearl leaving.

Blue nodded.

The calm breath rushed out of her with a little gasp, and cold filled her like the questions that flooded her mind.  She covered her mouth and glanced at the paper again.  She couldn’t bring herself to read the words, to hope they changed if she only read it one more time. 

Tears blurred her vision as she smashed the paper between her fists and stood.  The stillness that had been in her family snapped like she’d tripped the wire and the explosion was only seconds away. 

They started to stand too, to rise to their feet as if preparing for a battle they’d follow her to without knowing what they were fighting.  Blue had already begun to stand with her, but they were all slow, as if they moved in slow motion. 

There was a chorus of “Pearl, Blue, What’s wrong, what happened?” But Pearl didn’t listen to it.

Pearl grabbed Blue’s hand and pulled her to her feet quickly.  She tried to say, “Excuse us.”  But Pearl didn’t know if she managed to force the words out before she all but ran to the door with Blue.

She didn’t stop as they called out to her.  She kept her hand tight around Blue’s wrist as she pulled her out of the house, to the cool night air, down the stairs into the sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, happy days are over for the time being. Sorry this took so long, hopefully the next chapter won’t take so long because this is a mean cliff hanger to wait a month for lol. In a perfect world, I'd finish the story before the next episodes come out, but idk when that'll be and there's like 10-15 more chapters soooooo
> 
> Let me know what you think so far, thanks to my beta scotty <3


	5. Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/7/17

They’d watched as Pearl pulled Blue out of the house in shock.  One minute they’d been playing Go Fish, ignoring the undercurrent of unease, and the next…

Steven stood, hesitating as the unusually loud footsteps on the wood disappeared as Pearl pulled Blue onto the beach.  What had made her look so terrified?  Even when Jasper came, he’d never seen her look that way before.  She looked like she had when she heard about Blue Diamond being on Earth.

Garnet strode towards the door, and Steven followed silently.  Connie and Amethyst followed too, and all of them walked quickly to the porch, staring down at the pearls on the sandy beach in the darkness.  Blue stood calmly, her back straight and her face as blank as usual. 

Steven had hoped it wouldn’t take long for her to be expressive and happy to be on Earth, but worry ate at him.  She hadn’t come for no reason.  Like all the other Homeworld gems he met, she had something she had been planning—

Pearl clutched that note to her chest with one hand like Steven used to hold baby blankets and toys.  She’s slightly hunched in on herself, curling around the note and walking back and forth in a small pace.  She’s speaking too low for them to hear her over the ocean waves, but her other hand gestured around them in barely restrained flails.

It was hard to see in the low light, but her hand shook around the note. 

When Pearl seemed to notice the light cast on them from the open door, she looked up.  Her eyebrows were furrowed over her eyes as she saw them.  She said something else to Blue, but he couldn’t tell what. 

Garnet slowly walked down the steps towards them, and they followed her closely.  Connie looked at him with a frown but he only shrugged. 

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, Pearl was frowning at the sand with her back to Blue and Blue looked the same as ever with her hands folded in front of her.

“Pearl,” Garnet said, making Pearl shrink in on herself even more.  At the movement, Blue’s neutral manner soured.  He blinked at her.  She hadn’t changed position, her expression was the same, but she seemed… different.  Almost angry.   “What happened?” 

Pearl smoothed the note between her hands, reading it again with a deep frown and lines around her mouth. 

Steven kept watching Blue watch Pearl’s movements.  He didn’t want to admit it, but he hadn’t trusted her when she got to Earth.  Too many gems had tried to hurt his family, and he didn’t think she would be any different. 

Watching Pearl with her had calmed his worries a bit, though.  She’d been so happy most of the time, it was like Bismuth all over again.  Though maybe that was a bad example.

She’d only gotten upset when Blue catered to them, but really, that made sense from the little he knew of pearls on Homeworld.  But Blue… Something about how she acted when Pearl wasn’t looking, how she watched Pearl sometimes, made it seem like she was angry at something.

Now, Blue watched Pearl and Garnet with tension in her fingers and a frown and a vague air of anger.  When Garnet stepped towards Pearl and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, Blue’s jaw clenched. 

He wished that he could see her eyes.  Like Garnet, it’d be easier to tell what she was feeling if he could just see her eyes.

“Pearl?” Garnet said, her tone softer.

She doesn’t say anything.  Instead, she simply presses the note into Garnet’s hand.

Garnet’s face doesn’t change immediately when she read it.  It took a second of simply staring at the words before she phased away her glasses, revealing three eyes, all wide and afraid.

Her hand drops to her side, letting him see the familiar symbols written in bright blue that he couldn’t read.  “The Diamonds are sending another corruption weapon.”  She said, her voice far off.  Pearl wrapped her arms around herself and Blue’s frown deepened.

He doesn’t know much about the first weapon.  The gems don’t like telling him things about the war, but he does know that it was what made the monsters they had to bubble. 

“How long do we have?”  Garnet asked as Pearl turned her back towards them, facing the ocean with her hands shielding her eyes.

Blue watched Pearl, but after a moment she turned to Garnet.  “Assuming everything goes as the Diamonds had planned,” she said, completely at ease.  She could have been describing the weather, “less than two days.”

* * *

Steven hated all-nighters.  They only made him more tired the next afternoon and he usually really liked sleeping.  But he barely noticed time slipping away until early morning light beamed through the windows and made his eyes droop.

But he couldn’t sleep.  Not yet.  And the more the night went on, the less likely it seemed that he’d be able to sleep.

Steven called Peridot and Lapis as soon as they went inside, telling them to come to the house quickly, but the others kept asking questions.

_What exactly did the Diamonds say?  Why another weapon?_   Blue and Yellow Diamond want to be rid of the Crystal Gems.

_So did they know we escaped from the Zoo?_   No, they never knew you left.

_What do you know about the weapon?_   Nothing.

By the time Peridot and Lapis flew to the front door, rushing into the house, Pearl was pacing in the kitchen with Blue standing calmly by the fridge, Amethyst sat on the island counter with Garnet leaning by her and Steven and Connie sat on the stools. 

Pearl spoke before Peridot and Lapis even set foot on the ground, “How much do you know about the war, Peridot?” 

Peridot didn’t seem to notice the urgency in Pearl’s tone, “Well,” she said, seeming to be pleased to answer something she knew, “a group of rebels—”

“ _No_ ,” Pearl said, her hands folded behind her back, “About the end of it.”

She blinked as the smile vanished off her face, “uh,” she said.  She glanced at Lapis, “The Diamonds won?”

As Pearl turned away from them, Lapis looked over her shoulder and saw Blue standing in the kitchen.  She blinked, “is that…?”  Blue tilted her head to the side, “What is Blue Diamond’s Pearl doing here?”  Lapis folded her arms, her tone icy.

Pearl didn’t look at them as she pulled a piece of yellowed paper out of her gem and put it on the counter across from Steven and Connie.  “Blue left Homeworld,” she said, smiling at her friend.  “Permanently.”

Lapis didn’t look any more at ease, “pearls don’t generally just _leave_.”

That wouldn’t go over well, Steven could just tell.  So when Pearl stood up straight and said, “Why not?” like it was a challenge, he hopped off the stool and tried to ignore the small, almost pleased smile on Blue’s face. 

“She left Homeworld to warn us,” he told them, relieved when Pearl clicked her tongue in annoyance and smoothed out the old paper.  “Do either of you know anything about the weapon that the diamonds sent?  The one that corrupted gems?  Because they’re sending another.”

Lapis shook her head and Peridot frowned in thought.

“Did you work on anything like that while you were on Homeworld, Peridot?”  Connie asked, hopping off the stool too. 

“Er, well…” Peridot said, blushing, “No.  I worked on ships before coming here.”

“Did you ever hear anything about it?”  Steven asked, “them making a new one?”

Peridot shook her head, and for a moment there was silence.  “But!” she said, “But I can run tests!”  she turned to the door, picking up the trashcan lid she flew in on, “I’ll go run experiments,” and she opened the door and disappeared. 

Lapis watched her go for a moment before turning to look at Blue.  She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to to make her disapproval clear.  She said, “Bye Steven,” and followed Peridot.

Connie looked at him with a frown before going to sit on the couch with her chin resting on her palms.  Steven followed her, sitting by her and mirroring her pose.  He honestly expected them to know more about the weapon, and now that they didn’t…

Pearl didn’t even look up as they left.  She quickly began pulling more yellowed rolls of paper out of her gem, pilling them on the counter.  There were so many rolls of paper that Amethyst jumped off the counter to give her room to sit on the stool he and Connie left and quietly begin to read.

Steven took his phone out of his pocket.  _We’re okay,_ he typed, _But the diamonds are sending another weapon that corrupted gems in the war that should get here in like 2 days.  It’s probably not good._   His dad wouldn’t be awake this late, but he would get the text in the morning. 

After a while, Garnet picked up one of the pages and unrolled it in her hands, frowning at it for a moment before flipping it upside down, staring at it for a second before flipping it back and tilting her head.  “These are—”

“Notes,” Pearl said, squinting at the page.  “From the end of the war.”

Steven walked to Garnet’s side, looking at the note.  It was covered in squiggles he could barely recognize as the gem language from Homeworld.  It was like Centipeedle’s writing, slanted and shakey.  Garnet carefully returned the page to the pile, not able to read the words. 

Pearl sat at the counter, looking at the words on the page with growing frustration as she tried to read.  After a long while of silence, Pearl sat the page aside, letting it spring back into the rolled shape, put her head in her hand like she had a headache, and picked up another page.

“But won’t they postpone the launch?”  Connie asked Blue, “Because you’re missing?”

Blue didn’t react.  Instead Pearl made a harsh scoff in the back of her throat, “The diamonds don’t care about a missing pearl.”  She didn’t look up from her page, but she shook her head in frustration as she set the page aside and picked up the next in the stack.

“What about the light cannon?”  Amethyst said, sprawled across the couch, “Blow it out of the sky.”

Garnet leaned against the wall by the door, “that would make shrapnel rain down on Earth,” she said, “we can’t do that.”

Pearl flipped the page covered in writing much quicker than she had before.

“Why don’t we just get as far away from it as possible and let it go off?”  Steven asked, watching Pearl barely glance at the page in her hands before slapping it harshly on the counter.

Garnet frowned, concentrating on the floor as she tried to look at the future.  “The last weapon sent a shockwave of destruction across the Earth for hundreds of miles.”  She said, sighing, “Rose planted the strawberry fields to bring life back to the land, but humans live there now.”

“And besides,” Pearl said quickly flipping through pages, the tenseness in her voice only made her actions seem more erratic.  “there’s no telling how much stronger this could be, due to the increase in technology they _stole_ from other planets.”  She looked at the next page in her hands, “it could envelope the whole planet and it wouldn’t matter where we would be.”  Then she said what she’d said since they got back into the house: “We need to disarm it.”

Her tone had been determined when she first suggested it on the beach before they went inside.  Steven believed they could do it because she was so sure.  It was like she knew the course of action so clearly: ask Peridot what she knows, go through the old notes so they could go to the weapon and disarm it in less than 5 minutes.  They’d save the day again and be back in time for pizza.

But now, as the early morning sunlight started streaking across the floorboards, she hunched over the aged pages with her brow furrowed like she was having trouble reading it.  She stopped reading pages as thoroughly, and Steven could tell her confidence was slipping with every passing page.  When she said it this time, her tone was resolute not determined.  It scared him.

Pearl skimmed three pages in the silence as Steven watched her.  On the fourth page, nearing the end of the pile, Pearl stopped.  She read the page and dropped the hand from her forehead.  Steven watched her as she frowned at the page, her eyes going back and forth before slowing down and staring at the page as if she were looking through it.

For a long moment, she was still.  Didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t even breathe as she stared at the page in her hand.  The movements of Connie’s foot tapping and Amethyst occasionally shifting didn’t faze her at all.  Just as quickly as she slipped into the stillness, she snapped out of it with a jerk that crinkled the old paper in her hands.

She was breathing a little heavily as she blinked at the page in her hands, trying to read it again before shaking her head.  With surprising anger, she pushed the piles of paper in the direction of the trash can, scattering the pages across the kitchen floor as she pushed herself away from the counter. 

Pearl stood and the stool scraped across the floor.  One of the pages fluttered towards him, landing at his feet as Pearl put her face in her hands, turning her back to the house.  Her words were muffled, “I can’t read it!”  She said, “I can’t read _any_ of it, it doesn’t make any _sense_!”

She sounded like she wanted to say more, her voice was tense and her hands shook.  He watched with wide eyes as she hunched forward.  He’d seen her angry, sad, devastated, even.  But nothing like this.  He couldn’t describe it. 

Steven scooped up the page.  At the top, the letters were clear; if he read the language he probably would have been able to read it easily.  But a few lines into the report, the letters got shaky.  The careful, neat lines of text that looked like they’d been written on notebook paper slanted like if the writer looked away mid-sentence and their hand drifted.  By the bottom of the page, it would have been illegible to a master of the language.

Pearl took a deep breath that was loud enough to make him look up.  Blue stood in front of Pearl with her hands wrapped around her wrists.  “Relax,” she whispered, “You’re getting worked up again.”  He could barely hear her, but her tone was comforting, the same one his dad would use when he was scared.

Slowly, Blue pulled Pearl’s hands away from her face, and pressed her still-shaking hands together by curling her blue fingers around Pearl’s.  Pearl took a steady breath again and turned to the papers scattered on the floor with her hands still in Blue’s, not looking at the others as they stared at her in concern.

Blue was the first to pull away and start gathering the papers, and Pearl quickly followed after.  Steven took a small stack off the floor and handed them to Pearl with a hopefully comforting smile.  Her smile was strained as she took the pages.

He watched as she took Blue’s stack too, and Pearl carefully traced the writing with her fingertip.  After a second, she frowned and dumped the pile into the trashcan.  “My notes are useless anyway.”  She said to herself. 

He looked at the trashcan in disbelief.  Pearl’s handwriting was always so neat, there’s no way that the notes he’d seen had been written by her.  He shook his head, “We’ll think of something,” he said, trying to be optimistic.  “We always do.”

Pearl’s smile was still forced, but she glanced out the window before she spoke.  “Greg’s here,” she said, “Steven, you should go with him and take Connie home.”

Steven nodded as Connie ran up, wrapping Pearl in a hug that took the gem by surprise for a moment before lightly returning the hug.  Without saying anything, Connie pulled back and quickly grabbed her bag and was out the door in a flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Barely made it in on my birthday, so Happy Birthday to me <3 Thanks, as usual to Scotty, my bb girl.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked the story, leave a comment if you did. When I post the next chapter, I’ll update the tags.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a reference to the Fun Home song with the same title. Excellent musical and good book too, I recommend it.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story and if you want it to continue. New chapter will hopefully be out soon. Thanks to Scotty for reading this first and thank you for reading <3


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